Missing Scene from Sweet Revenge
The
impromptu party in my room was over, disrupted by the mishap with the sprinkler
in the ceiling. The nursing staff was none to happy over that little stunt.
They ran Captain Dobey, Huggy Bear and a very inebriated Hutch out of the room
and ordered them all to go home. Then they got me out of my wet pajamas and
bed, moving me into another room where it was dry.
Now I was alone, staring at the ceiling. My mood had gone
from happy and silly to dark and depressed. The morphine was wearing off and
the sharp edge of pain was clawing at my chest again. It's hard to stay
positive when your body feels like it's been torn apart and then put back
together again with chewing gum and duct tape.
I had been in this hospital for five weeks, six days,
twenty-one hours and sixteen minutes. But, hey…who's counting? The entire staff
keeps saying I'm a medical miracle. I shouldn't be here. My insides had been
shredded and rearranged by four high powered bullets at close range. Bones had
been shattered, my left lung was pretty much shot to hell, and I lost more
blood than most people can afford to lose and still be alive. I don't remember
any of it. I was unconscious for the first six days, kept alive by the machines
that were doing just about everything for me.
Hell, I even died. Three times to be exact. Once in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Once in
the emergency surgery to try and piece me back together. And the third time was
while I was still in the I.C.U. less than twenty-four hours after the shooting.
I don't remember any of that. I didn't see any white light or my dad or my
beloved Terri waiting for me in heaven. Huggy Bear told me that they had
shocked me four times before I finally decided to come back to the land of
living, just as Hutch came barreling into the ICU like a bat out of hell,
looking scared out of his mind. Maybe that's why I came back. I don't know.
Maybe that almost psychic bond that makes us such good cops and close friends
is what kept me from leaving the big lug behind.
The first clear memory I have after the shooting is
opening my eyes to a world of pain worse than anything I had ever imagined and
seeing Hutch's smiling face when he realized that I was finally awake. He was
so overjoyed and excited that he grabbed the nurse and started dancing her
around the room. Now, that was a sight to see since the blond klutz can't dance
worth a damn. The man has no rhythm or grace on the dance floor.
They kept me pretty doped up until just a couple of weeks
ago so my memories are still kind of spotty and confused. But I know that Hutch
was there with me almost constantly, except when he had to fly to
When anyone else was
present, I put on my best stoic face and shoved it all down deep inside where
it didn't show. I didn't want anybody pitying me or feeling sorry for me. I was
doing a good enough job of that myself. Dying, even if you don't remember doing
it, sure has a way of changing your outlook on life.
The sound of the door opening distracted me from my
thoughts. I grinned as my partner's familiar lanky form slipped into the room,
closing the door carefully behind him.
"I thought they kicked you out along with Dobey and
Huggy." I said lightly. I didn't care how, all I
cared about was that Hutch, my lifeline, was back. He was the one constant in
my life, the one thing I could depend on no matter what life threw at me. He
had sure proved that in the past few weeks.
"I hid in the cafeteria to give them some time to
cool off." He said with a grin as he crossed the room to my side. I
scooted to one side as he climbed back into my bed like he had done earlier and
made himself comfortable. Now, don't go getting the wrong idea. Me and Hutch love each other but we're not lovers and we're
not gay. We're soul mates in the truest sense of the word.
"Hell of a way to end the party." I said with a
chuckle. "I didn't even get to finish my champagne. You
still drunk?"
"No, I think that cold shower did a pretty good job
of sobering me up." Hutch replied with a wide grin. It seemed like forever
since I'd seen that big of a smile on Hutch's face. For the past few weeks all
I'd seen there was fear, concern and worry. And I felt
guilty knowing that it was all because of me.
"The doctor says if I keep doing as good as I have
been then I can go home in another two or three weeks." I said even though
I knew that Hutch already knew that. I just liked repeating it to anyone who
would listen so I could convince myself that I would actually be getting out of
here eventually.
"I know. I've been getting things ready. Huggy
helped me find a place on the beach. It's going to be perfect…all one level. No
steps."
"The beach?" I
repeated "I always wanted to live on the beach…just wish I could've found
a way to swing it without getting shot."
Hutch's face crumbled and I saw him blinking back the
tears that filled his pale blue eyes. I wanted to kick myself. I knew that he
hated to be reminded of the shooting and how close I came to dying. We needed
to talk about it. I just didn't know how to bring up the subject. But we had
always been honest with each other, that was one of
the most important foundations of our relationship. Finally, I took a deep
breath and just jumped in with both feet.
"Hutch, look at me." I ordered. "I'm still
here. I'm still alive. I didn't leave you."
"Oh, God, Starsk…I almost lost you!" Hutch said
in a choked voice that betrayed his emotions. "I was so damned scared. I
still am. I'm still afraid that I'm going to lose you."
"I'm scared too." I admitted "I know that
I'm not immortal anymore." I made a weak attempt at a smile and failed
miserably. "Neither are you, buddy. We've both been lucky…damn lucky. This
time it was just too close."
"You got that right." Hutch agreed with his own
feeble attempt at a smile.
"I don't know if I can do it anymore, Hutch…I don't
know if I can go on being a cop." I swallowed hard as I said the words
that had been on my mind so much lately. I knew that I was afraid. Afraid of
what the future held in store. Afraid to go back on the
streets. Afraid of being shot again. A cop
can't function if he's afraid. Some fear it normal, it's healthy, it's human
but you have to be able to control that fear and not let it interfere with your
job. And I didn't know if I could anymore. And I wouldn't risk my life or
Hutch's by pretending that I could.
"I don't know if I can either." Hutch said quietly,
his eyes filled with understanding and compassion. I knew that he'd been
burning out on the job even before I was shot. The only reason he had stayed on
the streets for so long was because of me. All I had ever wanted to do with my
life was to be a cop. To make a difference. To help people. To follow in my father's
footsteps. And I had done all that. Maybe now, it was time to move on
with my life. Find another way to help people. To make a
difference.
"I guess that's something I don't have to decide
right away." I said trying to keep my tone light. I knew that even after I
got out of the hospital, I still had months and months of recovery and physical
therapy in my future.
"I'll be there, Starsk." Hutch said "No
matter what you decide, we'll do it together. Just like always."
"Me and thee, huh?"
"Just like always." Hutch repeated with a
tender smile that warmed my heart. I choked back the lump that rose in my
throat and wondered what I had done to deserve a friend like Hutch in my life.
My future might not be certain but our friendship would never be in question. Hutch
and I would always be partners in one way or another. We would always be
friends. We would always be there for each other no matter what life threw at
us. Me and thee for eternity and beyond.
THE END