ALONE

Just a short little snippet that came to mind. Warning this is a death story.

Beta read by ProvencePuss

It’s been exactly three weeks, four days, sixteen hours and 26 minutes since you went away. If I look at my watch I could narrow it down to the seconds. There’s not much else for me to do these days except count the minutes since I lost you. The job doesn’t matter anymore, bills go unpaid, there’s not any food in the house. What’s the point? It’s all a waste of time without you here to share it with me.

It’s funny, I always told myself that we’d go out together so neither one of us would have to suffer this way. I guess I always knew that I’d be the one left behind to grieve, not you. But this pain is just too deep, too much to bear. It never goes away. I feel like I missing part of my soul. You took it and my heart with you when you left. Now there’s nothing there but an empty spot and the hollow shell of a man who doesn’t want to go on this way.

I know everybody is worried about me. They’re probably looking for me by now but they’ll never look for me here. At least not until it’s too late. I feel safe here, surrounded by your things. But it’s still not the same. Your spirit is gone from this place and it’s just as empty as I am now. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, I’m surrounded by memories of you. There’s no escape, not for me.

I thought I would die when the woman I loved was killed. You helped me get through it but you’re not here to help me get through this. You’ll never be there again to give me your strength when I’m feeling weak, to laugh with me when I’m happy, to cry with me when I’m sad, or to comfort me when I’m hurt. I can’t do this, not without you.

The Captain took my gun but he forgot about yours. Somehow it seems fitting that the last you touched will be the last thing I touch too. The sun will be up soon and I can’t face another day without you. It’s too much to ask. The bullet that ended your life, ended mine too. It just took me a little longer to die.

God, forgive me for what I’m about to do. Take me home to him where I belong.